DnJ thank you for your lovely words. You have a very calm way of engaging, which really does help.
I still can't get the quote stuff (see attempts below)
[quote=DnJ]What was his response to this?
He said he would need time to get his finances sorted last night then today he said if he had to over out, he would not be able to contribute to the mortgage. I said I understand that you won't be able to pay as much but you will still need to contribute to the children's welfare & I would hope that was important to you too. He said only till aged 16. This isn't correct, it's while they're in full time education and I informed him of this. He then said I wouldn't be able to afford the mortgage and I said that my parents had agreed to help but also they wanted him to know that whatever happens, they love him. He said that's nice of them and walked away. I'm still no clearer as to his plans.
I'm understanding a little bit more. I've spent quite a bit of today calm and ok. I'm not sure it's been detachment but maybe a step in the right direction. I've been able to focus on his current actions, which I don't like rather than his past love & my fear of the future. Still getting that periodic ball of anxiety. My worries seem to be more about our children today (S19 & D16). My D saw his phone last night with a long message ending with 4 heart emoji & lots of kisses. She couldn't sleep and came to me saying why can't he see that we were happy last year. It broke my heart. I worry that he has not only compartmentalised me but he has the kids too. He doesn't speak to them and doesn't seem to care. It's all so hard
