Along with me and the other things my XW tossed aside like used clothes, were our four children. She has basically provided nothing during the past six years. Just dump and run. She missed birthdays and other special/important dates. When OM’s son had his car roll-over accident, she told the four kids - face to face during a visit - how she almost lost a child. How she almost lost “her” child. Imagine that! Telling your own children something like that. What a thing to hear from one’s own mother. She caused a commotion at our son’s wedding social when trying to manipulate them into “having to” invite OM to the wedding. And she continues to prevent early access to their inheritance monies. All kids are/have attended university; with tuition being one of the very things spelled out for such an early withdrawal. The two eldest just waited until the mandatory release age of 23. My third son will reach 23 this year. Daughter is turning 21 this year.
She stalked her daughter to and from school. Even confronted her in the hallway, in front of her classmates. Attacking her about her boyfriend. W flirted with the high school boys during the track meet. She parked at my property’s edge and watched son and daughter as they got home and went to work. She even entered my home and snooped about, until I started to lock the door. (Small town. )
Lots of desperate and depressed behaviour from her over the past years. And no parenting really. She is more a teenager herself. All our kids now being older than she acts/behaves.
That all being said, presently there are some small signs of XW trying to do the right thing. She hasn’t actually done “the right thing” yet; just affirmed her intent to, to daughter.
I do believe folks can find their way out of their abyss. For some, that is a very long road. I’d think they’d feel a bit like Rip Van Winkle awakening once they got their fog cleared away.
DW, all you can do is be Dad. To be your best. You are likely to have the lion’s share of responsibilities and care and support and so on. It’s hard, and very much fulfilling and worthy. Be the living example to, and for, your kids.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
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