Here’s an update to what’s been going on the past week.
W started filling out the D paperwork again. It was in response to her getting upset that we aren’t staying together or sharing a rental car this upcoming weekend. Basically, she was throwing a fit. I know her plan was to have the paperwork filled out by 2/10. That didn’t happen so who knows.
When W was filling out the paperwork, it was in the dining room while D18 was doing her homework and I was making dinner. She kept making comments to get a reaction, but I didn’t bite. Both times she’s filled them out it was right in front of D18. D18 is great about ignoring things, but I worry about what she may be keeping in. I check with her about how she’s feeling with everything every few days and she says she’s fine but can’t wait until she's off to college and doesn't have to play mom for D5 on top of juggling school, sports, work, friends, etc. It feels like she’s just holding in her emotions until she doesn’t have to deal with this anymore. Not sure if that’s healthy or not, but I’ve been talking with my IC about how to help her with that.
One new change from the parenting plan compared to the one W filled out previously is that she changed it to 50/50, but wants D5 for all bdays, Christmas and “adoption day” (we celebrate the day we finalized our adoption). I’m glad it’s more reasonable than the first attempt, but that’s still not going to work for me. And her actions this morning made me wonder if I should be pushing for a larger portion of custody.
W went out last night and did not come home. Whatever, I’m used to that now. But today I had to be at work at 5 and earlier in the week I made arrangements for D5 to be watched in case W wasn’t able to. W got offended at the suggestion she wouldn’t be able to watch D5 and said something like “She’s my kid, I am capable of taking care of her.” This was several days ago. I assumed this meant she would be home by the time I left for work, but she wasn’t. Instead, D18 is stuck watching her and was never asked to. D18 and I talked about it last night, anticipating W not coming home, but it’s still incredibly frustrating. W has always been a great mom until the past 8 months, but her actions make me question whether she actually is capable of taking care of D5. D5 complains or cries to me almost daily about W not spending time with her or not being around. If W’s current mental state continues post-D, I do not want this woman caring for my child.
I’m not sure if anyone else has been in the same boat. If so, did your exW snap out of her bad parenting post-D, or continue a downward spiral? Should someone dealing with depression and everything else my W is going through right now be granted 50/50 custody? The advice I’ve received from a few people is to push for what I want, not what I think is fair. I’ll talk with my L about this also, but I’m just curious what others may have experienced.
On a more positive note, still GALing the best I can. Last weekend I took D5 to ride her bike across a local bridge and we went to a Daddy Daughter dance with D7 and had a lot of fun. Ran into some people I hadn’t seen in a long time. I got some new clothes which is always nice. I went out with a buddy to watch another friend’s band play. Slacked on reading this week but planning on reading a bunch today. Finished week 9 of my half marathon prep. Probably time to actually sign up for a race. I tweaked something in my knee yesterday, I think from not stretching after my run. I hope it heals up quick. I’m getting ready to have a blast at D18’s tournament next weekend. Still not sure if she’ll be healthy enough to play, but I am going either way. W is worried about how awkward it’ll be, but I’m choosing to embrace the awkwardness. I hope everyone had a great week!
