Hi ready 2 change. I spoke to my mum yesterday and she was amazing. I had a good night where I was able to detach & managed to eat. She spoke a lot about what is said on here. Not forcing things, looking after me but also said that it was worth just having a chat to let him know I still want the relationship to work but not putting pressure on him. She did say it sounds like he is having an affair and that I would just have to ride that through. Felt good and able to do this last night. Unfortunately feeling shaky again now and despite my best efforts to avoid my urge to check, I let myself down and drove past his work to check his car was there. It was but still didn't give me comfort. I know I need to stop this behaviour. I can see it just fuels my fear but also can't stand the uncertainty. Feeling tearful and needy again which is so not like me. Thank you for caring.
