Newbie and needing help please

[BL42]

MA1970,

Thank you BL42 for your reply. I know your replies have come from experience & compassion but some of the responses were really tough to hear.

Didn't mean to come across as harsh, but also think it's important you have a realistic view of your situation.

Even though I know they're probably true, they still activate that desperation to make him want me again.

Desperation is your enemy. The more desperate you are the move likely you'll act in a weak and unattractive way. The fast you can drop the fear, get strong and know you'll be fine either way, the more confident and attractive you'll become.

We've not been in the same room for a few years, largely due to his horrendous snoring but also probably because it helped me avoid sex. We were still intimate in other ways. The avoidance of sex on my part probably started off with me being unhappy about my body & then I just had a general loss of libido and almost became frightened of sex. We still laughed and loved each other and that's where my statement about getting away with it came from.

Avoiding sex for years is not good for a relationship. You can't change the past, but know that going forward.

H has been distant for a couple of months coinciding with a night out where he didn't come home (never done that).

Did you address what happened that night? Quite an elephant in the room if it happened out of nowhere.

Not sure I saw an answer to this one?

Do you and/or your H have a tendency to ignore issues and sweep them under the rug?