I agree with you. NJ’s calculator is pretty straightforward. Just like my locale.
I know you are hard working and busting it with two jobs. However, the wage differential and custody percentage is all the formula looks at. The legal system is frighteningly efficient and emotional-less when it come to divorce proceedings and support payments. Given your hard work ethic, you could have owed him, if he were a deadbeat.
And, I totally get the feeling of unfairness in all this.
So, do you believe his reported income? You certainly don’t need to take his word for it. However, you and he do have a pretty amicable relationship (more or less). Do you believe he’d purposefully mislead you about his income?
The $42K wage disparity is the biggest factor here. Even if you had 100% sole custody the child support calculation $170/week. And if H’s income were equal to your’s, CS would only amount to $150/week. You and I both know how little that is.
Just some questioning / reasoning to work through before you blow the lid off things. Risk vs reward.
A positive in all of this, you and XH are talking about child support. Personally, I’d probably not worry about the calculated $12/week increase. Even though he and you are willingly to find agreement outside of a courtroom. What I would discuss is future expenses. Unvisersity, driving, prom, etc. This whole conversation opens up where he stands on sharing those upcoming costs.
Originally Posted by Ginger1
I couldn’t have gotten more screwed in this divorce financially.
Originally Posted by Ginger1
Yeah, I’m feeling pretty angry and defeated right now. As I sit here at my second job.
Money. Yes, it’s important. And XH is meeting the legal requirements. Such as they are.
However, little G is more important.
Consider her and you. Your relationship. As you say, you were screwed financially. And only financially. Realize that. What you have, is worth more than money, and cannot be bought.
Feeling defeated. Yep. And that will flit. A temporary state.
Deep down, you have a wellspring of uplifting joy and pride and fulfilment with such a daughter in your life. And, truth be told, the hardships you’ve had to live through, make that even more golden.
Little G will never ever forget all you’ve sacrificed and provided for her. She currently doesn’t express nor understand the depth of all that. In time she will.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
