First of all, MA, welcome and I'm really sorry you're going through this. As others have noted, this is a safe haven, FOR YOU. DO NOT share this space with your H ...
Secondly, I think BL's question is worth some deeper introspection on your part:
Originally Posted by MA1970
This is my fault, I just stopped bothering & thought I could get away with it.
Originally Posted by BL
What do you mean "get away with it"? Why were you avoiding? Why did you not want to be intimate with him?
I don't think you're at a time in your relationship where you can fully implement some of her sex-starved marriage advice, but I DO think you need to figure out what prompted this behavior on your part. This is the piece you need to own and do your best to understand. Once you understand what made you behave this way you can address those issues yourself either in IC or by digging deeper to become the wife any man would be a fool to leave.
Keep posting. We're here to help.
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
