Good morning MA. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I’m still a newbie myself. My BD was April’22. The people here are awesome and can help you so much if you let them. A lot of the advice is hard to implement at first, trust them. I’m roughly 10 months in and have just started to detach. It really helps. It helps calm your mind and brings a little peace. I struggled to heed the advice I was given at first, probably everyone does. It’s hard to imagine giving someone space that you think you are losing. It will get easier with time. Time will creep by. You will survive. My W of 25 years told me all the standard things and I was shell shocked. It will get better. Don’t keep blaming yourself and beating yourself up. Acknowledge the changes you should make and focus on you. He’s not innocent by any stretch. My first reaction was to take all the blame. As I got further into this mess and wasn’t operating out of fear, I was able to rationally look at our R and see that neither of us were perfect. No one is. Don’t get me wrong, I still struggle to do the right things, it hard. I’ve made more mistakes than I can count. When you mess up, acknowledge it and get back to work. When you feel like having an R talk, don’t. That was my weakness. Post on here instead. Sometimes you just need to vent. You will be challenged. Don’t take it personally. Everyone here wants the best for you. We’re all in this together.
