Still a glutton

[BL42]

Ginger1,

I really think you should consult an L or two. While I'm no L, there are a couple things you mention which don't sound right to me, and it's incredibly important you fully understand your rights for support before negotiating with him outside the courts. And to be honest, I kind of think you SHOULD go through the courts/legal process. Let the court rule on what's fair under the law. I would be shocked if it doesn't go in your favor. You working two jobs with a majority of the custody and him crying poverty all the time is not going to go over well with the judge/magistrate. You're grossly undercompensated right now for support. Who knows, maybe your jurisdiction would even have the judge allowed to award you back payments.

And my salary also includes my second job, which hurts me a bit

I'm not sure you working a 2nd job would count against you under the law. I believe they'd factor in what you and your husband could make in a regular salary/or 40hour basis. Don't think you'll get penalized for busting your butt to scrape up more money for your daughter. Again, consult a L!

I am very proud of you.

As am I! Way to stand up for you and your daughter!

The ball is in his court and if he doesn't respond back to you within a reasonable time, then I would move forward and take this issue to court.

Agreed. He benefits by a delay...don't let him run out the clock.

I do not feel sorry for him one bit and to toss out that comment about you having to disclose your salary. Next time he says that, tell the man that you have no problem sharing your information with the magistrate.

Yep. He's trying to bully you there. Say "OK! Let's go to the courts". Wait to see how quickly his story changes.

Good for you! Don't let this slide...time for him to grow up and face his parental responsibilities.

Agreed! Don't let it slide.

If you are considering negotiating and settling, it is good to know the likely imposed terms. Do remember upcoming education costs for university, college, trade schools, or whatever. The current fiscal pressure is going to increase a bit more for the next few years.

Good point by DnJ on upcoming expenses. Factor that in.

Well, I just got off the phone with him and now I actually do want to rob him. He did start crunching the numbers. Apparently, I would $12/week according to his calculations. And he will give me a one time payment of an extra $100.

DO NOT trust his calculations. It's in his interest to deceive. Consult a L! That's the only way you can be sure of what the courts would grant you.

He makes 81k per year. I made 123k last year. Because I work 2 jobs.

Again, I don't think the courts count a 2nd or 3rd job against you when it comes to child support...but consult an L!

i'm proud of you for addressing this with him. don't let this slide. and don't take his word for it. do a consult with a lawyer to know what you're really entitled to.

^YES

I would look at the formula for your state. I would then speak to a lawyer about it.

^YES

For one thing, would you need to work two jobs if you were getting a proper amount for child support?

^Right!!!

I would do a spreadsheet laying out what expenditures you are paying for and have it ready to present to a lawyer.

The more documentation the better.

I wouldn't believe a thing he's telling you. Of course, he's going to say what he did because he's hoping that you'll back down. Do not back down.

^YES, RIGHT! He has every incentive reason to lie and deceive and try to get you to back down. He is NOT going to like the result if you take him to court. Consult a L.

I crunched the numbers on the state calculator and they appear to be correct

Maybe. But you're running it on your total income of two jobs?

taking into account even his wife’s contribution to the house hold bills.

Does his W's income factor in? Usually not.

It’s just really sad and disappointing. Part of me wishes I had the opportunity to remarry to have a second income, sadly.

Yeah...dual income household would make it much easier. That's what you signed up for...

Don't give up. I would research every avenue to see if there is a way for him to provide more support, especially with her school activities and the "extras" that your daughter needs.

I know you feel bad about things, but there has to be some light at the end of the tunnel for you. You've worked so hard and have made every effort to have a good home for your daughter. Please, please still look into what, if anything, can help you out.

Don't give up. There has to be an answer out there that can help you.

^What job said