Well, divorce went through. It was really weird, eventually I had been looking forward to it being done. And then when it happens it's just still kind of sad. I called one of my really good friends who also went through a divorce and she filed and she said the same thing, when she got the divorce finalization in the mail she sat in her car and cried even though she wanted the divorce more than anything.
I wound up getting a email from our insurance company addressed to him and I just forwarded it to the ex. He sent a message back saying how he told them multiple times that we were now separate accounts, but he's happy to keep getting joint emails and included a laughing emoji. What? it felt really weird like "haha, this is all great, look. How divorced we are isn't this funny"vibes. Totally cool to abandon your family and your child and move across the country. Haha indeed. I didn't write back.
Anyway, I've unfriended him in social media, he said cheerfully on the phone when I confirmed travel plans that he agreed to watch the kiddo for that I should send him updates about the baby. At least he did agree to watch the baby when I'm in Europe with some friends in a few months so I am super stoked about that. I am also going to a medical conference in another country as well so also excited to go outside of my comfort zone. I'm not going to send him updates because if he was really that invested he wouldn't disappear. He would also pay child support but he hasn't paid for anything since the baby was a month old.
Going to try online dating, the person I went on a date with was super nice but I don't think there was a spark there. Despite all of this, Overall, I'm feeling so much more hopeful for the future and thinking back on how terribly the ex treated me toward the end. I'm really glad I'm moving on and the marriage is over. Thanks everyone on this board for keeping me sane and as mentally healthy as I could be during all of this.
