Living With WAW 4

[BL42]

R2C do you respond like that to ExW? Wonder if you practice on her just to make her wonder what she threw away.

Short answer is we do not interact. I have been in a committed relationship for 12+ years. I believe it would be disrespectful to my lady.

Makes sense R2C, I respect that. Good answer.

She does not take accountability for her faults and likely never will. She does not love herself. I do not trust her to ever put in the work required for self-improvement.

This is the most accurate statement you’ll ever find on this website.

All of us who arrive here share the same pathology.

We are committed to our relationship, we are prepared to fix, improve, practice, reset and work on ourselves and our relationship.

Our partners are not. Either because of an affair, or MLC, or trauma or any other reason.

So we have a dynamic where one person is in, and one person is out. The person who is out, however, doesn’t want it to be their fault. They don’t want to look themselves in the mirror and see a bad person.

So they blame us, and being fixers, we end up here at DB.com desperately seeking answers, living in fear and trying work out what to say/do/be.

It is VERY rare to find someone who comes here who was a genuinely BAD and terrible spouse.

While you could probably count on one hand the number of LBS here whose spouse weren’t in an active affair (EA or PA), you’ll find it even less likely for a WAS/WS to accept responsibility for treating us poorly, breaking their vow or hurting their kids’ future.

It’s just the way it is. I wouldn’t say she “likely never will” take accountability for her her faults… I’d say you’re more likely to win a $100million dollar lottery.

LBS who accept this will be much happier.

Great post, Kind18.

I'd rather be out socializing and having drinks at the team's hotel down the street or exploring the area. I enjoy checking out places I've never been, so I'm pretty excited.

If you a put 100% focus on this........

This is something I need to keep in mind. She asked for this. She wants a divorce. She wants relationships with people other than me. She does not get to cake eat too.

and 0% focus on this.........

Eating M&M's alone on the bed in pajamas is pretty similar to W's daily routine.

and this...........

You will be fine within a year. You go the other way with it and you will continue to suffer immensely.

Great post, LH19

DW17 - How's D18's leg doing? Hope it heels and you get to go on the trip. A lot of times we speculate about the details of making something go perfectly in the future and then those anxieties or fears don't come to fruition anyway. I vote go, have a blast with the other families and continue to cultivate your relationship with D's friends and their family. Let W eat M&Ms alone if she wants and don't give worry about her logistics one bit.