Divorce immediately after marriage

[BL42]

TellMeSo,

Dinner went well.

When you say "went well"...what exactly do you mean in terms of your goal? Did you truly go in with no expectations? Because if you think it's going to help W want to get back together with you, unfortunately you're likely going to be let down.

I was always positive and shining

Good!

she was showing positive emotions as well. We even laughed a couple of times, discussed memories and briefly touched our relationship.

So this doesn't come across to me as . Seems somewhat common for WAS/WSs to engage in a bit of nostalgia, reminiscing on memories or joking/laughing to lighten the mood. Doesn't mean she wants to get back with you.

She even agreed and confirmed that all of our problems could be fixed. But she is not willing to put in the effort / she is afraid that nothing will change.

This is SUPER common. When you say "even agreed" it comes across to me you were trying to logic her back and she agreed with you on something. That's not going to help your cause.

Believe her when she says she's not willing to put in the effort and doesn't believe anything will change. She is telling you the truth here. She is saying there's no way in her mind she'd come back. Of course maybe she'll change that feeling over time, but right now it's real.

My ExW told me on BD she had no energy to even try. I was dumbfounded because what was so bad? Two young kids, nice home, good careers, great family support and friends...etc. We had disagreements, but rarely fought. What is it we couldn't fix with a little counseling? Especially with young kids. But I should've taken her statement to heart and believed her she was unwilling to even try. ExW even said "you're changing if only I had said something a few years ago, but we'll never know how you would've reacted". This is not a sign of her being open to you; quite the opposite.

Now, this week is complete opposite. I called her once and she was angry and mad at me.

Why did you call her? You don't have kids. Was there an emergency? Likely not. We're recommending you give her more space than she wants. Does calling her align with that advice?

Even in our small communication I felt her want to push me as far away as possible. I could say that her voice tone, words and actions changed dramatically since last week.

Very possible she's trying to push you away more after being too nice and drawing you in with dinner. It's common for WAS/WS to give hope but not really mean it and then be even nastier afterwards as a way to make it clear to the LBS they don't want to get back together, despite the "nice dinner".

Sometimes she is asking how I am doing with curious and deep questions

How are you responding to the deep questions? Are you being light, and fun, and positive and mysterious? Or are you engagement in deep answers trying to show her you care? Hopefully the former.

These days I am just trying to be positive and maintain calm in our communication.

You should be limiting conversations, and focusing on your own life and having fun without her.

She seems sad and completely tired of everything. At first it was only me, now she is saying similar things about her job as well.

Perhaps she just wants to "quit" her current life and build a better tomorrow.

Very possible. You've only been together 5 years and are newly married. Unless you've been abusive or something major it's likely much more about her than you.

TellMeSo - Don't mean to be harsh above, just trying to give you a honest assessment. So without kids and fresh into a marriage in which she's already backing out...what do you fear about divorce?