Nice quiet weekend, nothing much to report. W and I spent a lot of time together Saturday doing some clothes shopping. We went to the mall, yes we still have one of those, and it felt so weird. We spent so much time there together as teenagers and young adults. Didn't mention it to her but the feelings of nostalgia were strong. Made me feel very sentimental for a while. Last night while watching football we started discussing vacation plans. It came up because we were looking at d13's travel softball schedule and we only have a few open weekends from June to August. I didn't really want to talk too much about it, didn't want her to feel pressured. We always go to her aunt's house at the beach and we need to claim a spot or we won't get one. I couldn't get a good read on how she was taking it. At one point I just said "Look, reserve the week we picked and if things change you can still go without me. You know you want to go and so does d13." I left it at that and will not mention it again. If things change between us I will plan my own vacation, maybe with s17. He's not a fan of the beach anyway. It did start to bother me thinking that this could be the first year in 26 years we don't go on a family vacation together. I sat and thought about it for a few minutes and then put it out of my mind. I wondered if she could tell something was up because she got up from her chair and came and snuggled against me on the sofa. She's still being more affectionate than she used to be. It's nice. It's also confusing. Lately I've wondered if it's because she's about to make a move and is trying to be extra nice leading up to it. I read on someone else's thread where it was mentioned about their sitch. Trying not to be negative and also not naive is a difficult balancing act.
A lot of that ^^^ is the push/pull that happens with DB.
It's why DBing is counterintuitive.
When you push, she moves away....
When you pull back, she comes closer....
She is seeing you possibly being different. You aren't as devastated now, and are making decisions out of strength rather than weakness...
And she is finding that attractive about you.
The balancing act is this....
You can't be that guy simply to lure her back...
Your new strength has to come from inside of you, and only for you....
And you can't be looking back over your shoulder to see where she is. She will either follow or she won't, and you cannot control either option.
And a WAS can smell fake, like Oprah can sniff out a Twinkie....
As far as your expectations, be careful with them.
The positive AND the negative ones. Both are equally damaging to you and your efforts....
One other thing Mike....
When you FIRST asked her out....
Did you really care if there was a boyfriend or anything ???
I would say no...
You walked up to her and made your play, regardless if there was competition...
That....is your mind set through this...
You are the one best option for her, and she is either gonna be on the boat, or she isn't....
In my experience with DB, or anything...
People don't typically go looking for things that they haven't lost.....
Just not as a ploy, rather a way of living your life...
