Wolfman Moving Forward 5

[Wolfman]

Here is the situation. Or maybe question. How do I balance my 12 year old who is disrespectful at times to my gf? I reprimand him, I make him say sorry. But at times, gf wants tougher consequences. Feels I am not doing my job it making sure my son respects her.
Situation: the other day gf asked son if he would like to hang out with his friend (they have been best friends the last 3 years). We are also friends with the parents so we would probably all hang out togther. My son said no it’s ok she asked why, to make a long story short my son basically told her he is annoying and complains a lot. Keep in mind they are 12. She kept asking him questions why, he explained why and he has anew set of friends. This conversation went on for 10 minutes. Then my son started to play with the baby. And the conversation stopped for about 3 minutes. Then she asked him a question, I didn’t hear the question and his response was, what are you interigating me and he quoted a movie and was laughing. She said that she was serious and she wasn’t kidding. I said he was just making a joke and trying to make light of the situation. She said well I am serious this is not a joke. My son continued to chuckle a little and then she lost it. How he is being disrespectful for laughing at her when she is trying to talk to him, how’s am backing him up by explaining for him. I told my son to go downstairs at this point. The. She started to get loud and say this is bs. We have no respect for her. It died to explain that he wasn’t laughing at her he was just making a joke and was still laughing. Her response was there you go defending him instead of saying something to him when he is trying to have a serious conversation. Then I said something mild but shouldn’t have. I told her to calm down. She said don’t f-ing tell me to calm down. I said I see you are very upset right now, I am going to walk away with the baby and we can talk later. Unfortunately we did not speak the rest of the night. Next day else ignored each other most of the day. Then She went out for hours, then called me and explained how she is done being disrespected by both of us, how I do nothing and she apologized for yelling and cursing but then justified it with she has had enough. We pushed her to her limit. She does a lot for him now and she feels he does not respect her. The other day I picked him up early from school, he wasn’t feeling well. She made him soup, ran out to the store in the rain and got him Gatorade, and other things to make him feel better. She goes to all his game even though she has a lot of school work to do.
She also get really mad when he acts that way. I tell her it is not right what he does, that I speak to him but kids his age will be rebellious, difficult, disrespectful, but I will address it. For her she feels it’s not enough what i do. Help. Any suggestions or advice. Thanks