…in 4 months, naturally I have room to improve. She did tell me I’m doing great, gave me positive feedback and areas she would like to see me grow. Fair enough.
I am actually struggling a little bit there. It has to do with my counterpart and probably my own insecurities. We get along just fine, but her personality grates me . She has followed my boss everywhere for years. They know eachother well. I got the first position she got the second one when it became available. She always has something to prove. She loud, she’s very extra, she talks over everyone, she needs to have her story heard ALL THE TIME. If you say something about someone else or something else, it becomes about her every single time. Even when we discuss patients!.
Your counterpart will not be the cause of your struggles or your successes. You succeed because of you.
Originally Posted by Ginger1
I also miss my former office mate so much. I trusted her so much, I loved spending time with her.
I believe you had a promotion to a more supervisory/authority role. With that, comes a different relationship with your coworkers and staff.
Originally Posted by Ginger1
Certain employees have gravitated towards her because of how extra over the top she is and she is a personality in your face. Others have gravitated towards me because she is too much, probably.
Guesswork on why and what motivates your staff.
Originally Posted by Ginger1
I feel like I have to be more like her because she is just so in your face. … I feel kind of “threatened” and I don’t like it.
A response to feeling threatened.
Originally Posted by Ginger1
It’s my first time doing performance evals and it’s for 27 people.
Wow, that is a lot of evaluations! Long hours indeed.
Some advice/encouragement.
G, being in charge is not about being the boss. It’s about caring for those in your charge.
Why do some folks gravitate towards your counter part? Why some towards you? Why do you feel threatened?
When doing evaluations of my staff, after the competencies and skills assessment part and we were into the final discussion/dialog, I always asked them “What can I do, more of or less of, to help you be more successful?”.
The first time around they were shocked. A boss actually wanting feedback. Actually willing to listen. That first time, of course, very few answers. The next round, everyone had a thoughtful answer ready. And every subsequent evaluation we discuss how “we”, them and I, can become more successful.
Following through with those discussed and agreed upon actions will most assuredly have folks gravitate towards you. I had such a loyal bunch of coworkers and staff. And that doesn’t come from being “so in your face”. It also transforms one from “boss” into “leader”.
The formal 1 on 1 evaluation is one thing. Everyday you live/display that caring about those in your charge. Team leader. And leading happens from the back. The rear, where those that are lagging behind and struggling are. It’s less “follow me”; and more “that’s where we need to be” and inspiring/motivating the entire team to get there.
Originally Posted by Ginger1
I am a listener. I’m very chill as well.
Excellent traits for a leader.
You’re not an imposter. Just experiencing the steepness of the learning curve. You totally belong in the role. Embrace it and make it your’s.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
