I would like to add one more thing to bttry's posting.
Whatever changes you make, must become permanent and not something you are doing to get your spouse back. Your spouse is watching your every move and she will detect quite easily if the changes you are making are just to convince her to return to the marriage. BTW, your spouse will be testing you to see if the chances are real or not.
Keep the focus entirely on you and your family. Leave your spouse in the hands of the man up above.
You can bet that when she told you she was going to see her bf that it was a test. She’s testing for strength.
