I would like to add one more thing to bttry's posting.

Whatever changes you make, must become permanent and not something you are doing to get your spouse back. Your spouse is watching your every move and she will detect quite easily if the changes you are making are just to convince her to return to the marriage. BTW, your spouse will be testing you to see if the chances are real or not.

Keep the focus entirely on you and your family. Leave your spouse in the hands of the man up above.

Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.