WAW w/Exit Affair or WW? - 1.5 Year Divorced (8)

[BL42]

BL, I promise you, they don’t remember how big and extravagant Christmas and birthdays are. They remember show showed up and how they felt. I understand the feeling of needing to be “perfect” for our kids, but kids don’t want perfect parents. They want real parents. Present parents. Reliable parents. And you are all of that.

Appreciate that Ginger. I do put pressure on myself at times to be perfect for them, especially considering their back and forth life, but know that's not realistic. And there's no doubt in my heart I've been as present and reliable as the has situation allowed over the last 3 years...going above and beyond on that front.

So it’s not because my kid is older and I’m about to be “free” in 2 years ( BTW, it’s not as exciting as I thought it would be, a pice of my heart won’t be living with me anymore and it makes me so so sad).

I hear you! Took my mom out to lunch after coaching S7's soccer game this morning and we were talking about how he's almost 8 and starting to "grow up" and be less huggy and affectionate with us and going off with his buddies. Totally normal and healthy for a boy his age so it's all good...but already giving me a twinge of nostalgia as a parent!

So BL I totally get you rejecting G based on the posts of her love life on here. Believe me I do lol.

No rejection here, and her posts wouldn't be a contributing factor to it anyway.

But she is flirting with you. Just go with it. Practice makes perfect. I bet this is your problem on OLD unless you are lying to us. If you have the 6s it shouldn't be that difficult to get some dates. Be fun! Be playful!

Well to be fair I deleted my OLD profiles quite awhile ago, but LH you might be touching on some truth here...I do tend to look for the perfect fit / long term relationship as opposed to opening the aperture and just going on a casual date and having fun for what it is.

And not lying or misrepresenting myself here...6 figure salary, probably top 10% income and net worth, 6 foot even 195lbs and though can't claim a six pack in pretty decent shape overall. Fairly active and athletic. Great career, fantastic father, tight family and quality friends...etc.

I've had some dating options IRL but haven't followed up on their obvious interest. Think part of it is PTSD from the affair/D, part being there for the kids and working on myself, and part of it is the question you raise about seeking out the right long term fit vs. just opening myself up and having fun / enjoying the process.

One thing to think of here B....

You can have them in your life for a minute...

Or you can have them in your life for a lifetime....

It isn't about you making up for anything....

It's about you giving them a full enriched life, showing them character and molding them into well balanced adults....

Why the F would you feel guilty for doing that ??? : )

Perfection is un-obtainable...

It's showing them that when life kicks you in the huevos, you respond with dignity, honor, grace, and courage...

Pretty sure you are trying to do that.....

Thanks for that Mach. You're right, and I am doing that. But can't help feel guilty and the need to "make up" for their sitch at times either. Maybe that's me projecting my loss of a nuclear family onto them as well, and maybe they're just going to be OK with that. But I have had the sense I need to step up because of what ExW decided. I'm working to give them that enriched life and modeling the character and values I can. That'll have to be enough. Just need to give myself a bit of relief and grace for the part of the situation I can not fix.

I was hoping it might be you, but the picture isn’t how I imagine you to look.

So you're saying this guy isn't really, really, really, ridiculously good looking? ;-)

I think I just threw up in my mouth a bit....

It's a movie reference Mach! No one picked up on it?

So how do we go about getting Super G and BL in the same room? Should we host a DB board party?

I invite y'all to a Bruins game, lmao

Not sure about the Bruins game bttfly, think LH volunteered first to host at the Sundowner ;-)

So BL, I’m not going to the devils flyers game with my singles group feb 25th. I never pulled the trigger and got the tickets.

However, my dad just informed me he bought tickets for me, the kid him and his wife.

That's awesome! Well done G's dad! Enjoy the game...but not too much ;-)

So I will be there. The devils will win.

I'm loyal to my teams Ginger, but not gonna bet on them in Vegas either. Rough season...

You should get tickets as well!

It's Vermont ski trip weekend with my boys! My crew only has 5 this year but just found out another group we know are going the same weekend, so may have 10 or a dozen guys. Should be fun. Pray for more snow up that way.