Had a great day. A good checkup at the clinic. Bloodwork in normal range. BP was high normal - might be the white coat effect. Got some targets for a bit more lifestyle adjustments : weight loss, muscle gain, strength and flexibility. Adding vitamin D supplement. Got in a workout and walk. Connected with D and friend.
Oh W arrived back safely - thankful for her safety. D plans to spend the day with her tomorrow.
“Yesterday morning W informed me she’s heading out of the country. No response from me. But I was thrown into some ptsd symptoms storm. Reached out for help and followed steps that I know work and got on track.
Focusing on me and kids. Planning to have a blast! And take good care of myself”
I did that. I am on my way. Kids and friends are observing and acknowledging my steadiness and focus on my path ahead. And those in my really close circle know how hard it is on me.
BL, I don’t know how all y’all can help except by being there and honestly asking like you did is about the best. I know I need to tell people what I need they can’t read my mind. I’m ok. Had another good day. Didn’t get derailed by her leaving didn’t on her return. D just got home from playing badminton with friends. She’s happy so am I. Hanging out with friends tomorrow staying on track with my health goals.
Oh W arrived back safely - thankful for her safety. D plans to spend the day with her tomorrow.
Yeah I’m thankful she made it back safe too. (Insert LH19 eye roll). So this is the second sex trip Rock. What are your boundaries regarding future sex trips? Maybe I’m not cut out for this board anymore because this is completely unacceptable and will get glossed over with detach, GAL etc. The good news is I think you will have a decision soon. I’m sure your monkey traveled there to be sure her branch is secure before she lets go of the other.
I will commend you on your GAL, it is strong and if this long drawn out process doesn’t kill you I suspect you will be fine and land on your feet.
I have the same gut feeling as LH. Your GAL game is very strong which is commendable and will help you quite a bit. However, your W is cheating and disrespecting you and violating her vows so your "thankful for her safety" comment comes off as the wrong attitude to me. You need to get in a place were you don't know or care what she's doing, a place where you write her off and respect yourself too much to put up with this BS, a place where you move forward with your life without her.
Have you read Love Must Be Tough by James Dobson? Might be a good one for you and your situation with your religious ties and your W's wayward behavior.
Me:39 Ex-W:37 M:7 T: 9 S:6 D:3 BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20 OM1 affair ends: May '20 W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20 W files for D: Jul20 OM2 confirmed: 9/2020 Divorced: May '21
Well done regaining your balance so quickly. So much better than say six month ago. Right?
I do understand being thankful for W’s safety. Regardless of her reason(s) for the trip, she’s the kids’ Mom.
Love, acceptance, forgiveness. Such core values do not have conditions to them. Love the sinner, forgive the sin.
I don’t believe anyone deserves to be just written off; not even a cheating spouse. To me that shows good character. Strength. Honour. Self respect. Its how one treats their fellow man, not just their waitress.
Continue to move forward with your life. Not with a purposeful “without” her or “with” her. Live your life. Let her decide if she will be part of it or not. Be a man only a fool would leave.
Originally Posted by Rockon
Kids and friends are observing and acknowledging my steadiness and focus on my path ahead. And those in my really close circle know how hard it is on me.
Amen Rock.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
Thank you gentlemen. Up for a new day going to go out and get it. Got friends who want to have fun with me and I add to their lives and experiences. Make no mistake I need friends now more than ever. But when I hang out with them and ask about their lives and we get around to joking and laughing about stuff well that’s gold.
You need to get in a place were you don't know or care what she's doing, a place where you write her off and respect yourself too much to put up with this BS, a place where you move forward with your life without her.
Originally Posted by DnJ
I don’t believe anyone deserves to be just written off; not even a cheating spouse. To me that shows good character. Strength. Honour. Self respect. Its how one treats their fellow man, not just their waitress.
Just want to clarify the intention behind my comment because DnJ makes a good point. Didn't to say W should be cast off and written off as a person altogether. I was referring to your mindset. Just that you need to get away from the "waiting at home and hope she's safe from her trip" to a a frame of don't care if she's even back and are moving forward with your life and not even seeing her in your future. IF she's going to come back, it'll most likely only happen once you're totally over her and having a blast with your life and not even thinking it'll happen at all.
Originally Posted by BL42
Have you read Love Must Be Tough by James Dobson? Might be a good one for you and your situation with your religious ties and your W's wayward behavior.
Read this book if you haven't.
Me:39 Ex-W:37 M:7 T: 9 S:6 D:3 BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20 OM1 affair ends: May '20 W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20 W files for D: Jul20 OM2 confirmed: 9/2020 Divorced: May '21
