Going dark feels like pressure

[Bat]

Thank you kind18.

I’m exactly doing all the things in option 2. Hobbies; painting, reading etc. Exercise; gym and walking and tried yoga for first time. Travel; I am on a month long trip. A trip very different than what I am used to, I’ve traveled a lot and mostly it was sightseeing and snorkeling something we loved doing together. This trip i focus on doing things i like to do instead of seeing the sights (already saw most temples etc anyway). I’m doing hiking, walks, visiting museum, cooking classes, yoga and art classes. And of course going out for coffee, lunch, diner and relaxing, swimming. So a lot of me time. Yesterday did a physical challenging hike to a volcano.
Learning a language; yes I am learning spanish on Duolingo daily and planning my next trip to mexico to study more, something i wanted to do for a many years but other travel plans came first.
Still reading on the links and a similar course in my own language and will order db book and others when i get back home in 2 weeks. And will get counselling then also.

So I am really doing both. If I didn’t care about getting back with him I would not need this board right? But as a mentioned before I’m not used to talk about everything I do.

I do notice that I start to detach. For brief moments I think ok maybe life is ok without him as my h. I do need him as my friend. You probably will say get new friends, but i need at least one person in my life who has known me for many years. For now my plan is to give this at least 5 years. If by then I still want him more than friends i will let him go. Or he has come back by then but this stream of thought is if he doesn’t come back. So yes i do consider that possibility.