Not much new to report on. Had the same scenario occur last weekend where the OM showed up at d13's basketball tournament. Handled things much better. I was only mildly irritated by his presence, not angry. Did not check if W was looking at him like last time. Long day and he was there the whole time, directly across from us. I was proud of myself. I will admit to hoping we might bump into each other, mostly joking. Mostly. Didn't dwell on it and we had a nice day. D's team won the tourney, btw! Some things I have been thinking about lately. I'm riding this out with the hope that she comes around eventually. Before I ask the next question, let me say that these are just rambling thoughts. The answers don't necessarily change anything at the moment. Also, I am making the needed changes for myself, my future R, and for my kids. The changes were much needed regardless of how our current R turns out. Ok. I am making the changes I need to make, what happens with other sitches where they manage to reconcile? Does the other spouse usually decide to work on themselves at that point, on their own? I really can't see my W doing much. What if I put in the time only to find out she won't do anything other than saying she's committed to staying together? I guess that's a question for me to answer. Have others encountered this? How did you deal with it? I'm currently ok with us taking it "day to day" as she says, as long as there is not an active A. At what point do I decide enough is enough? It still weighs on me that each new day could be the day she leaves. I don't dwell on it all day. I do think about it at times. When I gave her the ultimatum to end the A, I was mentally checked out. It may have ultimately been the wrong decision, but I just decided I couldn't handle it anymore. Did not want to handle it anymore. I don't regret the choice I made even though letting the A play out on it's would have probably been the "better" move. Gotta run to pick up d13, check back later. Thanks as always.
