I don’t have the answers for saving my marriage let alone yours.
How does that feel? Crappy right? Used to fixing things? Used to finding a way? Familiar with the feeling that if you work hard enough, anything is possible? None of that applies now, there is nothing you can do. You need to surrender to that, grieve it and find peace with it.
Fighting against it sets you up as their adversary, pushes your w and her boyfriend together and you away. If you continue to actively try to disrupt the affair and get your wife back, you will only dig your hole deeper and deeper, and that will be a debt that will take you a long time to recover from.
Originally Posted by Rockon
Have you shown/communicated and been consistent in your own work to be her husband?
Is there any chance that you will then feel you didn't express yourself clearly enough, and need to prove your love to her?
I guess what I'm asking is "where is the finish line?" At what point do you feel you will trust that she fully understands how you feel and still chooses not to reconcile?
I hate to ask you that question, but I also don't want to see you forever stuck.
If you pour your heart out and nothing changes, what comes next?
There is nothing you can do right now to end the affair or get your wife back.
