At this point, I don’t think I’m trying to save anything. It’s been a slow journey to the realization that I’ll be better without her. I know that feelings change, but I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about some of the questions I’ve been asked here, particularly why I would want to be with this person. I have accepted a few things – It is very likely that I will never truly trust W again and I cannot be in a relationship without trust. It is very unlikely that W will change. She is a broken person from a broken background. She does not take accountability for her faults and likely never will. She does not love herself. I do not trust her to ever put in the work required for self-improvement. This is who she always has been and likely who she will continue to be. Nothing from our 22 years together suggests to me that she will work on any of this.
Despite all of this, a big part of me would love to be the one to help her through it. I have faults that contributed to this situation. But I also know that her upbringing, which she did not get to choose, is something that will cause her problems for the rest of her life. I feel like I know her better than anyone else ever will and that I would be able to help her overcome these issues. I also know that she fired me from that job.
Originally Posted by LH19
Why are you disappointed in her?
I guess it’s not disappointment toward her as much as disappointment in the situation. It all seems so unnecessary. Being in a relationship and having kids at a young age set me up for this to some degree, but this entire situation seems like something that IC and a few good books 20 years ago could have easily prevented.
Originally Posted by LH19
You have a good lawyer! Negotiate while she is feeling guilty because that won't last long.
I will spend time thinking about this and how I would approach the situation.
