Living With WAW 4

[BL42]

DW17,

Last weekend she asked me if I'd ever ask her to marry me again. I got caught off guard and responded with “that’s a pretty heavy question” and shifted to something else.

"Nope, only plan on being married once. Too bad it didn't work out" There would definitely be a twinkle in my eye and slight grin. Wink and a walk away. Confident and happy.

She came up behind me and hugged me while I was washing dishes and asked why I wouldn't hug her. I said I had to go get my laundry and left the room.

"I might turn you on and I don't want to give you the wrong impression." There would definitely be a twinkle in my eye and slight grin. Wink and a walk away. Confident and happy.

The other day she dropped an ILY multiple times in a joking manner, like she was waiting for me to say ILY too.

I would respond differently every time. "i can tell..too bad you can't have me" or "Ya, you want to show me how much you love me?" or "I love you more!" There would definitely be a twinkle in my eye and slight grin. Wink and a walk away. Confident and happy.

R2C is nailing these responses. You can see how light and fun and flirty they are. It's hard not to act hurt when you are a hurt LBS in IHS, but better to be playful and attractive.

Humor, confidence, sexual insinuations, cocky, etc...

I really don't know how one could learn these skills without practice.

Passing "hsit tests" is an art and a skill.

R2C do you respond like that to ExW? Wonder if you practice on her just to make her wonder what she threw away.

Why not flip the script?

Why don’t YOU file?

I’ve spent some time thinking about this and will continue thinking about it. For me, it’s a debate between taking my power by filing first and taking my power by forcing her to be the one to pull the trigger on our 22 year relationship. I told my kids initially that I’d give it a year and I’d give my best effort to make it work. That means a lot to me as well. Plans do change, but I want my kids to know that I did as much as I could.

Don't rush into anything DW17. I totally get the flip the script and take back the power, and part of me wishes I had packed up then-W's things in some boxes during affair/IHS and left them out on the porch for her, but on the other hand you want to be able to say to your kids and yourself you didn't give up. It's a hard decision, not one you need to race into.

I know I should have responded more attractively than “uh oh…don’t know what to do….get away from me”, but I was completely caught off guard.

Understandable. Most of us wouldn't be prepared for that either. Study what R2C is saying though...