But how are you supposed to talk if I am pretending to be always busy?
You’re not. No-one has EVER talked their WAS/WS out of divorce.
Trying to talk them back into the relationship is a waste of time. If it was that easy, everyone here would have done it. If it was that easy, you could have talked her out of it before she got to this point.
Think of it like getting a first date. Walk up to a woman, tell her how great you are, how she would be a fool to date anyone else and beg her to go out for dinner … and she’s going to run in the opposite direction. But if you just be yourself, confident, outgoing, mysterious and seem completely uninterested in her - she will suddenly be interested.
You can’t talk your spouse back into a relationship. You can only be happy, confident, unaffected and aloof - and maybe she will wonder what she’s losing and want to peer back in.
I guarantee any discussion that even remotely touches or goes near the subject of your marriage is going to be the final nail in the coffin.
Now you’re committed to go, I agree that you can’t cancel and should go.
I’d arrive 10 mins late, over dressed, and wearing NEW aftershave - not the one she buys for you or you know is her favourite. I’d be confident, happy and even a bit flirty with the waitress. Tell your wife all about your gym and exercise program, and all the GAL things you’ve been busy doing. Tell her about a holiday you’re planning - like a singles cruise, or a hiking or skiing holiday. And then I’d leave early “Thanks for dinner, glad to see you’re so happy! I’ve got to run, I’m going to watch the baseball game with some mates!”
And then leave. Do NOT wait for her to end it.
Make yourself a prize. Not a begging, desperate guy waiting around for her.
And don’t make another dinner date or agree to anything. Your gut instinct and everything in your brain that is telling you to talk to her and spend more time around her is wrong.
