You know it’s coming eventually from her. She has it all planned out. She’s just terribly disorganised like they all are. But some time in February you know it’s going to happen. She might spend another month or so playing these BS games where she hugs or or says ILY.
I couldn’t stand being in permanent limbo with someone who is treating me like a cat playing with a dead mouse, and checking if her monkey branch is holding solid.
Make sure you don’t live in an at-fault jurisdiction, and then take your power back.
I’ve spent some time thinking about this and will continue thinking about it. For me, it’s a debate between taking my power by filing first and taking my power by forcing her to be the one to pull the trigger on our 22 year relationship. I told my kids initially that I’d give it a year and I’d give my best effort to make it work. That means a lot to me as well. Plans do change, but I want my kids to know that I did as much as I could.
Originally Posted by BL42
I'm curious what folks think about the "marry me again" / hugs / ILYs. I never got anything close to those. Better than getting hooked and being needy for sure, but perhaps there's a more attractive way to respond than ignoring?
I haven’t gotten any hugs/ILYs/etc pretty much this entire time. Maybe a hug or two several months ago, but that’s it. And even those were just comforting hugs when something sad was going on. I know I should have responded more attractively than “uh oh…don’t know what to do….get away from me”, but I was completely caught off guard. It’s pretty funny in hindsight.
R2C, thanks for your suggestions on how to approach some of these situations. I’m normally pretty good at responding in an attractive way so now that I know to possibly expect these interactions, I’ll be less awkward next time.
This week I intend to meet with one more lawyer before I commit to one. The one I reached out to hasn’t returned my messages, which is probably a red flag despite the reviews she has online. I’ll have that sorted out by tomorrow.
