But how are you supposed to talk if I am pretending to be always busy?
It’s not pretending to be busy. It’s being busy.
It sounds like you already agreed to these dinner plans. Therefore, I’d go. It would be worse to cancel, in that she’d likely fuel her justifications further.
Is W still living with her parents?
My understanding of this “dinner date” is she proposed it and you accepted. This is good. She pursued you. And yes, things won’t get better without talking. However, let her lead the conversation. See what is on her agenda, instead of you telling her about your’s.
Originally Posted by TellMeSo
Why not have it? My aim is not to fully push her away until we resolve the issues one way or another.
A few reasons. “Have at it” is rather confrontational. That mindset and action will likely push her away.
“Until we resolve the issues”. “One way or another”. More confrontational thinking/feeling. Confrontation begets confrontation.
Your stated aim is to not push her away. Good. So don’t.
I do not understand what you meant by fully push her away. (Fully push vs push.) “Fully” has an ultimatum sound to it. Not a useful stance to take at this juncture with what you’ve shared with us.
What if she is not ready to resolve things? What is are the “issues” according to her? You certainly cannot fix her. And you don’t know her valid thoughts and feelings regarding whatever she has issue with.
Proceed with an open mind. Put your thoughts and conclusions of what is wrong on hold, and listen to what she has to say. And realize you are not going to resolve your situation over dinner. Just listen and enjoy the meal. And hopefully the company too.
T, she asked you to dinner. Go slow, and find out why she did.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
