Would I would do is start thinking about dealbreakers. Saying I’m riding it out a little while longer is pointless. This isn’t ending anytime soon. It’s highly unlikely she’s going to just magically fall in love with you again. Best you can likely hope for is status quo for the next 7-10 years. If you can live like that for the kids sake then there is nothing wrong with it. I have a friend who hates his W but stays for the kids. It works for him. What works for you Doug?
That's interesting. It's a somber thought, but interesting nonetheless. I recently read "His Needs, Her Needs," an older book that I saw recommended by someone on this board. The author ranked a man's five most basic needs in marriage as: 1.) sexual fulfillment 2.) recreational companionship 3.) an attractive spouse 4.) domestic support 5.) admiration. I'm not saying I fully agree with that list, but I probably would with #1 and #2. And #2 has largely been missing in my marriage. Personally, I could GAL until the cows come home but there comes a point where I crave the companionship part of the relationship.
What is your friend's marriage like, LH? Does his wife hate him as well? Do they do things together?
It is a tough choice if framed solely about the kids - I see my kids every day as it is and would lose that with a divorce. My youngest just turned 6 and has his whole childhood ahead of him.
Also, I still see glimmers of the old W sometimes and that tends to sort of hit a momentary reset button for me.
