Going dark feels like pressure

[Bat]

No i did not validate his loss of interest in porn. I was about the cancer he had in his teens why he now has this fertility problem amongst other medical issues and how his parents handled it. And about not having a “normal life”, he has a lot of medical issues and this makes him feel like a loser.

It is all about not having the same things in life that other men like his brother and friends do have. And they show off a lot that they have kids, good health and money. That’s what I validated not the fact he can’t watch porn or have a baby with ow. The porn is about not feeling a man, about masculinity he sees these men and compares himself to them and again, feels a loser. These things are symptoms, not the real problem.

I don’t think it will be happily ever after. But I do have hope ow suddenly isn’t that appealing anymore. He left yesterday to her country in a depressed mood. This trip was meant to see if the vibe was still there from when they met before in oct. I hope the vibe is not there anymore now he feels like this. To put it very directly, if he can’t get it up because he feels he’s a loser, that could be a mood killer. She won’t understand because he will never tell her all of this, so this mood change can cost friction between them and that’s what we need to end this A.

And I hope he comes home so yes I can encourage him to get help. This will not be the end or happily ever after but the beginning of dealing with a depression that had been there for many many years, since his early teens.
I told him he should get help but he said yes but not now. He first wants to fix his sleeping issues and find out what this obsession with her means. I totally don’t agree, think he should find help for this obsession instead of seeing where it will bring him, but he’s not ready, What can I do? I try to be a safe place for him and put my own interest on the side for now. I will think about getting more proactive, that could be a 180 because I never did that.