Going dark feels like pressure

[DnJ]

Hello B

I’m not sure what you mean, his past r with me or before me?

I’m referring to the past relationship dynamics that are stirring up the present emotional troubles within him. That is before you even knew him. Basically from his parents. Those teen years he is exhibiting.

He did say he feels 15 again and not in a fun way, but in a way he needs to make up for all the rejection he felt this period of his life.

H needs a do over for this time in his life. He did not get to build proper emotional mechanisms and coping strategies for life’s storms and problems. Life happens, H gets overwhelmed, and he goes off the deep end.

It’s uncanny how these emotionally troubled folks will recreate their traumatic events of their childhood. In this case, H needs to rebel against his parent(s). He has crafted his OW into that parental role. One can see how much control he has given OW. In time, and with some fortuitous karmic fate, he will rebel against her. And in doing so, he will grow up. His trouble isn’t really about needing a child. That’s just another symptom/sign.

It’s strange that 14 years with me didn’t make up for that.

Not at all. You didn’t break him. So you can’t fix him.

H, for a lot of the present, is emotionally back to when he was 15. Some interesting things happen when someone is “living” in the past so fully. H didn’t know you when he was 15. You and he were not married when he was 15. So, now, present day, emotionally, when all consumed and being 15, he doesn’t feel anything towards or about you. He knows you. Just doesn’t feel it. And that mixed up, confused view of his shows through.

H is a troubled soul. His pain and journey started long before he ever met you, and has basically nothing do with you or the last 14 years.

And not tell him but show him i am not waiting but moving on with my life.

Absolutely. Yes.

Move forward with your life. Do your inner work. Become the best version of yourself - Bat2.0!

D