Going dark feels like pressure

[Bat]

She knows exactly what to do to make him do what she wants.

Yep.

I’m glad you see this.

It’s a strange thing to witness, these folks (your H) recreating past relationship dynamics (unrealized as it is), so they can hopefully grow up from them.

D

I’m not sure what you mean, his past r with me or before me? He did say he feels 15 again and not in a fun way, but in a way he needs to make up for all the rejection he felt this period of his life. It’s strange that 14 years with me didn’t make up for that. He was rejected by his gf and other girls (who isn’t at that age), and bullied by guys at school.
There was jealousy in the beginning of our r, but my reclusive way of living seemed to make him trust me.
With OW is think the obsession with calling and texting all the time is also about control, as long as she is spending her time on him she can’t be with an OM. At some point he said I think being friends with her is enough, it’s the talking about culture difference etc what I like, and you i love. But then it hit him, if i let her go she might find an om, and he got very mad thinking about this possibility. It’s more about other men than about her, very strange and yes, IC is needed.

But I have to stop analysing i know. Maybe one day if he regrets and wants to work on it i can help with analysing.