Going dark feels like pressure

[Bat]

Thank you for responding. I did tell him that it’s a good thing to move out and be happy.

His response was he still is not sure what he wants and the offer for the apartment is coming too soon. I said ok then you don’t accept it’s your choice. I didn’t put any pressure on him and I already see this is working because then he starts crawling back, maybe they’ll reject me, maybe I don’t like the place or the vibe. I didn’t respond any other than it’s your choice.

I do understand all the advice and listen to it. Being away from him and only texting helps.

But I also see my best friend and love of my life struggling with his mental health, desperate to find a solution for being rejected by his family and in his mind, society. He expresses daily that what he really wants is the fog to lift and his obsession to go away. But he just is not able to stop it. And this OW is determined to get what she wants, a new life in Europe. She knows exactly what to do to make him do what she wants. This apartment thing is about her telling him he needs to have his own place. And about her telling him she’s not 100% sure only 80%. He’s afraid of loosing her and feels he needs to proof that he did everything to get an apartment but now it’s real he does start to panic. This 80% thing also got him more obsessed. When she said this he applied for the apartments but he didn’t think he would actually get an offer.

I know I have to let him go and let him hit rock bottom, while focusing on myself. But I am also worried because H did talk about suicide, and I know he is desperate. The approach of just dropping him is a bit scary to me, he’s very dependent of me. He only told one friend and this friend only said do what makes you happy. But i know H wants to proof himself to this friend, the having a child issue and also H told me he wanted “to give him the finger”. I didn’t really understand so asked H could only explain it that he wants to proof that he is able to get a real r with a … woman because nobody believes him. 15 year old speaking. Do you understand why I am worried about him?