Maybe. But I let him treat me like that so maybe I am the enabler.
Please don’t take the blame for this. That’s what he is grooming you to do.
Did you see my questions about getting help through your doctor, or EAP, etc? I see lots of red flags here and you need to prioritise getting psychological help.
Thank you I will. Seriously, I know I need that.
He would be the last person to say that I am to blame. There were several occasions that he was crying and begging me to just let him go because I deserve better. I refused to make it easy for him and told him you need to make the decision to leave for yourself. And I alone am responsible for staying, he never tried to manipulate me to stay. He did try to avoid making promises he couldn’t keep, i was the one pushing and asking what % he thinks he will come back or leave. And if it was more than 50% I stayed, the few times he said it’s maybe 25% so just let go I would keep pushing until I found something to hold on to. Even if it took a few days. So maybe I have been manipulating him to stay more than the other way around. I know you people here are on my side because I am the one asking for support. His story might sound different.
He isn’t at all having the time of his life and cake eating and laughing about it. His story would be that he just can’t control his feelings for OW because “just attracted to.. woman and if I was gay people would be supportive now it’s OW it’s bad”. And he is heartbroken about possibly losing his best friend and home. Not saying that it’s the truth but that’s his truth, not the manipulative, screwing around, gaslighting guy he may sound.
Me 41 H 34 T 14 No kids 1 dog First BD 3-22 ILYBNILWY Second BD EA (LD online) comfirmed 6-22 PA 10-22 Moving out 1-23
