There are plenty of people, even including ICs, that subscribe to a more dump ‘em and move on outlook. Your IC’s suggestion of digging for more details even when not legally useful is troublesome, IMHO. Pressuring H is likely to rile him up and make potential divorce negotiations worse. Her instance, and shifting of gears when it became non-useful legally, displays her bias towards non divorce busting methodology.
Originally Posted by marching
She reiterated that even if it isn't useful for the legal strategy, it would still be good for me to ask for details so that I can get the full picture of who H is. Otherwise, I'd be in denial of his betrayal. By knowing the full extent of his betrayal, it will be easier to drop him. This suggestion came about because I admitted that I miss the old H and still have a tiny bit of hope that he might "wake up" in the distant future. (I did also say that despite having this hope, I'm making decisions for the future assuming that he won't be in it.)
I do not believe you are stuck in denial. Sheesh, does this IC even listen to you.
I’d drop her.
Don’t let anyone extinguish your hope!
Those who have lost their hope, work to get others to their way of thinking. Like somehow having more “hope-less” disciples who believe the dump ‘em philosophy strengthens their position. That’s a terrible foundation to grow upon or seek forgiveness from. And it certainly limits any divorcing busting/reconciliation likelihood.
Hope is timeless. Hope is possibilities. Hope is an incredible wellspring of strength and fortitude. Of course, hope is a core value of mine. A motivation. A belief in the possible.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
