Competing with a fantasy is near impossible as long as the fantasy exists. A fantasy exists in the mind, free of the confines and pressures of real life. H’s fantasy will get more and more disrupted and fall apart as more and more of life injects into it. This cannot be by your hand. Any interference by you will be met with rebellion and invariably strengthen their bond.
Originally Posted by Bat
Yes I think this is true. Sometimes he says “her” but mainly “an .. woman”. He goes as far as believing it’s the same as being gay, that it’s an urge he needs to pursue.
Everyone has urges and desires. However, that is not a reason to cheat or actually succumb to those urges. Humans are higher than animals (or should be) when it comes to carnal passions.
Originally Posted by Bat
When it was done he would break it off and accept the help of MC to get over this. No matter how hard, he would do it. But he didn’t.
If he would accept help from MC to get over this, he could have accepted it before ever going down this road.
Originally Posted by Bat
I know this is a stupid question but do you think the A will last months or even years?
There are no stupid questions. Please feel safe to ask whatever you need clarification of.
I think, with what you’ve shared, H is lost in a fantasy affair which is likely going to last for some time. How long depends upon how quickly H burns through his infatuation with her.
How you got to this point is rather interesting. I don’t think you entered into this marriage with the intent of it becoming open.
Your best way forward is to focus upon you.
H is affixed to his A for the moment. Nothing you can say or do to alter his current trajectory. However, your actions just might be seen and have an affect upon him down the road.
Those same actions will certainly will have an affect upon you. And you are the most important person in this equation.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
