Ok the roller coaster ride continues. I was feeling good earlier but my IC session was rough.
Just finished talking with the IC that I'm thinking of leaving. I said that according the L, given the circumstances of H wanting the divorce and being generous with money so far, it is probably best to try to negotiate the settlement amicably instead of filing on grounds of adultery. So no need to collect evidence. I also said that it would be very painful to try to do that, anyway. She reiterated that even if it isn't useful for the legal strategy, it would still be good for me to ask for details so that I can get the full picture of who H is. Otherwise, I'd be in denial of his betrayal. By knowing the full extent of his betrayal, it will be easier to drop him. This suggestion came about because I admitted that I miss the old H and still have a tiny bit of hope that he might "wake up" in the distant future. (I did also say that despite having this hope, I'm making decisions for the future assuming that he won't be in it.)
She gave some advice that was helpful for dealing with other stuff going on in my life, but I don't appreciate this pressure to ask for details of the affairs. I agree with the advice on this board that it's better to move on without this information. The IC doesn't seem to view affairs as a bandaid for a problem, but the problem in and of itself. We went overtime with the appointment and haven't set a time for the next one.
I have an appointment to try out a new IC next week. I'll see how that goes before deciding which one to continue with.
