Well, again, simply my opinion, but I think people “freak out” (I hate that phrase by the way because it is another thing that is way over used and often misconstrued) about dating rules is because there isn’t one hard and fast set of rules and guidelines. They are all over the place. On this site, newcomers being encouraged to follow Sandi’s rules are getting one message consistent message from Sandi’s rules. Dating rules and guidelines come from a variety of sources, a variety of “experts” (some who are legit experts and some who aren’t any more expert than I am at playing golf). While there may be some consistency in parts of the message, there is not one real expert source where everyone gets the same thing. Take your coach for example. You clearly follow what he says and share that with others. Other men on this site have disagreed with the coach’s ways. Who is right? Well who’s to say?

I personally would take less exception with talk of dating rules and guidelines if there was a legit, recognized, expert source that portrayed specific, consistent info. Now, I realize people would still be different and interpret differently but if there was one consistent set that they could go back to, it would be easier to get people on the same page.

One of the rules I see over and over is about not waiting too long to set up an in person meet. When I was OLD, I wanted to get to know someone a bit before I met in person, so that rule didn’t work for me. Did I miss out on dates because of it? Maybe…….but if they are pushing me to do something uncomfortable did I really actually miss out?


Me 52, H53
Bomb drop 9/29/2014
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
6 grandkids