Truth be told, I think it’s his flakiness. He’s been late to 2 dates, had to call one off last minute. Forgets he has commitments, etc. missed promised phone calls….. he might say he is very interested but his actions show me otherwise.
What do you think the underlying issue is to his flakiness? Things I've seen in the past:
Love Avoidant - just plain ambivalent about seeing me until the last minute, showed in their behavior
Alcohol
ADHD
Other women
I'm not a particularly needy person in relationships at all - but at this point, if I was dating a new guy who was late to dates or calling them off at the last minute without a real emergency, my interest would be cooling off REALLY fast. And I'm actually one of those women the previous poster pointed out that might be turned off if a guy came on too strong before we really had a chance to get to know each other.
(Now mind you - half an hour late to a date with a phone call saying "I'm running late" - that's no big deal. Stuff happens. But the guy who just plain doesn't show up for an hour or two, or who says he's leaving but then calls an hour later to say NOW he's leaving - nope nope nope. I had a boyfriend like that in high school - he would get all caught up in working on his motorcycle, or printing photos in his darkroom, and I'd be all dressed up and waiting for him while he'd show up an hour or two or three later. I was patient and tolerant but eventually I lost interest and broke up with him. When Mr. Big Lots started doing the same, I said "Oh heck no, I'm not doing that again" and broke it off after a warning. Guys - pay attention here. Sitting on your sofa, all dolled up, waiting for the doorbell to ring - definitely puts a woman in a sour mood after a while. )
