Next time he does something he knows bothers you and then asks if you are mad at him, I would be honest with him. “No, I’m not mad BUT when I reach out to you just to say “hi” and you take more than 24 hours to respond, it makes me feel like you aren’t really that interested in spending time together and it’s disappointing because it makes me start to lose interest as well.” It’s direct, it’s honest and it challenges him to increase his efforts (if he is as interested) or be honest with you in return.
Deja, I think this is perfect. I recently listened to a podcast re Truth vs Harmony, and how not saying things that bother you build resentment and ends up not harmoniously at all. Also, you'll find what kind of person the other is in how they respond to you expressing your annoyance/feelings. The girl who I am dating now regularly have truth v harmony check ins and it works amazingly well. But it isn't fair to be annoyed at someone about something when they don't even know, i think you have to give them a chance to address the issue.
I actually did this. When he didn’t answer me until like a day later, I simply answered “thank you” and said nothing for the rest of the day. That’s when 6 hours later he asked me if I was mad and I said “what would make you think that?” And he just sent “thank you???” ( irony, is I dis what he does to me) I said I’m not mad, but why would I both saying anymore if I’d you aren’t going to read it or respond? I said I want him to reach out not because he feels forced, but he genuinely wants to. I said all I can do is 1) not out myself in a position to feel ignored and 2) decide if his hatred of text and lack of communication works for me. He asked me out for that night at that point in which I declined. If he would have responded to the text from the day before when I told him my plans were cancelled ( he originally wanted to do something with me, but I had a work dinner) we could have gotten together.
So, yesterday, the day after this exchange he good morning texted me , had a small back and forth , and then nothing since then. It’s 8 pm now and I’m going to bed at 9:30 because I have a 6 am gym class.
I am very comfortable FINALLY expressing my feelings towards situations. And I’m proud of how I handled it. I understand I can’t make him change, but I absolutely can decide if this works for me .
