Yeah G - good job on making other plans when he neglected to nail down a date. People will treat you the way you teach them to treat you sometimes, and if you teach them it’s ok to wait until the last minute, that’s what some guys will do.
It’s also what Love Avoidants do, and it’s what guys who just aren’t that interested in you do.
As for the general question of texting - I agree with DV that 24 hours is too long. But as someone with a really busy day job myself, my boyfriends have had to make peace with the fact that I may or may not return casual texts between 9 and 5 on workdays.
And I’m sure there are still some people out there who aren’t on their phones all the time. But if I’m going to feel like a guy is seriously pursuing me, he ought to be at the very least checking in by text once a day.
(Apparently in Korea young couples text each other all the time to a degree that American women find suffocating so there can also be big differences in cultural expectations ).
Now, my Love Avoidant exes who text and message me - they might send me three things all at once, I might reply, then I might not hear a response from them for two days - or at all. It tends to be sporadic, although between the Northern California guy who was my first post-divorce boyfriend, and Spa Guy, I get at least one message every day. (Usually just interesting music, movies, or articles or jokes about science or politics). This casual pattern of contact is nice to have but wouldn’t be enough from a serious contender.
It’s still early days for you G so it remains to be seen where this will go. Maybe once he realizes you expect more contact and you won’t sit around waiting for him to make last minute plans, he’ll step up to the plate. And if he doesn’t, well, then that tells you what you need to know, right?
