IC gave me advice that doesn't make a lot of sense to me. She said the next time H initiates a conversation, I should ask him for the details of the affairs (timeline, how serious they were/are) and say that I need this information for closure to proceed with the divorce. She even suggested that I talk to OW#1. Her suggestions go against all DB principles and other non-DB advice I've read from other places. That appointment really stressed me out.
So I'm looking into other ICs. A little annoying because I just started with this new one and thought she was a good fit. But her approach to affairs doesn't make a lot of sense to me. Perhaps I didn't explain how generally irrational H is being right now. I don't think I could have productive conversation with him about anything. I don't know that it would serve me, either. I really believe the OWs are just one of H's many escape methods. They are not the main problem. H's unhappiness with his life is the problem.
The problem is that I'm not really sure what my goals are anymore. I've lost sight of them because I'm spinning so much. I feel like I have to take action. So I will. I will redirect the focus on myself. Time to recommit to pouring myself into my work and hobbies and social life. To get my mental and physical health back on track. To be kind to myself. I just moved and it takes time to set up a healthy routine.
