And I think that you have your head so wrapped around what you think that she is doing TO you, that you forget that nothing she has done was done to intentionally hurt you...
And that everything that she is doing/has done, was to find herself...
And you are pushing your feelings and emotions away to prevent your hurt, by trying to convince yourself that you don't care....
And you keep looking back over your shoulder to see if your efforts at DBing are working, hoping that she will follow you at some point....
Much of what I would tell you, I posted to Rockon yesterday. Answer those question too Mike..
You ARE a different kind of DBer in that she is there and says that she wants to work on things....
Your story reminds me of the movie Fireproof in a lot of ways. It is based on a theory called the Love Dare, and I am wondering if that wouldn't be advantageous for you to do....
Not necessarily for her or the situation, yet moreso for you.
To understand that Love is a Verb, and action word, and while you love her, you may not know how to love her through this.
Cause you certainly have spent a LOT of time being wounded instead of leading....
Find your hope that drives you everyday....
Good friend of mine had a mantra....
Today isn't the day that I quit, maybe I will tomorrow, but let's see what tomorrow brings.....
And repeat that everyday...
Use your anger as a shield to protect yourself, NOT as a sword to lash out....
I don't want you sitting there bitter and remorseful in a few years wishing you had done more...
