I'm four months past BD, which in the grand scheme of things is not that long for an eleven-year-long relationship.
That’s entirely normal. Not only were you with them for 11 years, you’d also projected a whole lifetime ahead.
Four months is a really short space of time. It’s just that it feels like forever when your senses and emotions are dialled in to maximum.
Be kind to yourself, and don’t expect miracles. I was told to expect the emotional rollercoaster for 1 year and that timeline played out very accurately. It will be at least another 8 months before your headspace starts to change.
I’m a bit concerned that you don’t feel like you have an outlet.
Does your employer have an employee assistance program? That can often be a good way to get some help, it certainly was very valuable for me. Also, chat to your regular doctor - they often are good at helping with grief, and if there’s further cause for concern or they don’t think they’ve got the skills to help - they can often direct you to or setup appointments with a counsellor.
It’s really tough. And you need an outlet, because pushing it all down won’t work. Also, try to avoid burdening certain family members or friends with it constantly. A bit of professional help goes a really long way.
Are you exercising hard, eating well? How is your sleep? These things are tied to your mental health and ability to weather the ups and downs of divorce.
