Divorce immediately after marriage

[BL42]

TellMeSo,

First of all, huge thank you for your answers/questions. She is living with her parents.

How is your relationship with her parents? What's the dynamic like between you and her family?

Yes, I've done that. No such requests for 2-3 weeks. Basically it stopped immediately after she told me she wants to divorce.

Good.

We both make good money at our jobs. She is funding it by her own salary. As far as I know, it's not expensive trips compared to the salary.

Fair enough. But again, marital purchases/debt can end up split by both parties unless you can both amicably agree your finances are your own, which sometimes at first can seem likely and then over time get nasty. Hopefully with the short duration of the marriage to date it'll be straightforward, but at least consult with an L to know where you stand. It never hurts to get professional advice on where you stand. Knowledge = power.

She constantly comes back home to take a thing or two, but never takes all of her stuff.

Again, you have to make her FEEL like she's losing you and wonder if she's making a mistake. The way to do that is embrace it. Instead of holding on and trying to "save things" you have to let go and find peace about it. So I'm serious...instead her coming every other day and picking up one or two items, you take the initiative and packing up her stuff, nicely friendly respectfully. With a smile on your face say "Hey W, I helped pack up your things. Here you go. Best of luck :-)

Doesn't this tell a story that I want her out of home and my life?

Or, does it tell her a story of you've heard her feelings and requests and you're honoring them? And that you're happy and enjoying life regardless of her decisions? And maybe she wonders why that is and whether she's making a mistake?

Especially remaining calm and maintaining self-control during our conversations.

How many conversations are you having being separated? Might be time to cut the cord there. Be too busy and active to answer her phone calls. Delay answering the texts. Be brief and mysterious about it.

These days it's once or twice a week.

Be busier. Be so active you're not always around to answer her call or respond to her text. Make her FEEL like she's losing you...even if she doesn't want you at the moment.

To be honest my analytical mindset is creating fantasies that she might have AP, but my gut is saying that there is none.

Hmmm...so many analytical people here. Don't analyze too much. Be mindful of emotional attraction and her FEELINGS too.

Well maybe an EA, but it's maybe.

Read up on affairs. Men tend to discount EAs, whereas often times these are far more serious for women.

Before and after the wedding we spent most of the time together, thus there was no convenient time for her to find any OM. One could guess that she might have one now, but I doubt that this was the reason for sudden split.

You say you doubt it because she didn't have the time...but she's traveling to places?

During IC we have also deducted EA or PA as one of the reasons why this is happening.

An extremely high percentage of situations here - especially the ones similiar to what you describe end up finding out about an affair being a factor. Like 95%+...even when the LBS says "no way". Just be warned and prepare yourself mentally for the possibility.