Divorce immediately after marriage

[BL42]

TellMeSo,

We are both in our late 20's and have been together for 5+ years now.

You're relatively young and less attached than most around here - use that to your advantage.

We have been separated for more than a month now.

Where is she living?

She is stating that she lost her feelings and will not get them back.

That's how she feels right now

I asked several times to work on our issues and to solve them together, but she is refusing and has been mostly silent on our relationship topic apart from several discussions.

You've asked, now stop asking. Do not ask again.

She is refusing couples therapy and just wants to end it badly.

Do not pursue any couples therapy / marriage counseling. IF she come back and wants to work on things, that's another story, but for now do not initiate, suggest...etc.

She just wants to find "herself" and needs to be selfish for once.

Yeah..."find herself"

She has booked several impulsive vacation trips which is quite unusual for her and seems to be running away whenever opportunity arises. Also, made several big purchases in a span of a month.

Who is funding this? Talk to an L and understand the legal financial implications. In many places any assets & debts (especially post-marital) are held jointly, so her expensive vacations and purchases are on you too. You should talk to an L ASAP and may want to something to legally separate the finances so you're not on the hook.

She constantly comes back home to take a thing or two, but never takes all of her stuff.

Again, you have to make her FEEL like she's losing you and wonder if she's making a mistake. The way to do that is embrace it. Instead of holding on and trying to "save things" you have to let go and find peace about it. So I'm serious...instead her coming every other day and picking up one or two items, you take the initiative and packing up her stuff, nicely friendly respectfully. With a smile on your face say "Hey W, I helped pack up your things. Here you go. Best of luck :-)

Also, whenever we discussed filing for divorce, she mentioned that there is no rush and we can file it in the future.

Is she financially benefiting from this arrangement? I'd be very concerned about the expensive vacations and purchases. Do not put yourself on the hook for half of her debt. You might speed up a legal/financial separation.

I am trying to give her the full support and validate her feelings these days and not force anything.

Good to not force anything - you can't anyway, btw - but I'd be wary about "full support". Might be time to stop providing her emotional support.

I am attending IC.

Excellent!

Especially remaining calm and maintaining self-control during our conversations.

How many conversations are you having being separated? Might be time to cut the cord there. Be too busy and active to answer her phone calls. Delay answering the texts. Be brief and mysterious about it.

However, most of the comments on these forums are for couples that have been in marriage for years or are at a later stage in life. Not sure if I should apply everything given our short-term in marriage and age.

Not sure there's really a major difference in approach being married less than a year vs. 20.

Should I pay much attention to little details (i.e. if she wants to hug or avoids hugging, her removing wedding ring) or it is better not to focus on those?

Better not to focus. I remember being very upset when W removed her ring, and even when she changed her Facebook profile. Neither mattered in the scheme of things.

TellMeSo - Again, hate to say this but...sudden coldness, "the wrong person for her", "not love my anymore", "needs to find herself", loss of weight, trips away...all tell tale signs of AP. It doesn't change your approach, but prepare yourself for the likely possibility. It'll cause you to spin.