Start moving in the other direction. Meaning, instead of pursing her (requesting counseling, initiating R talks...etc.) start acting like it's a great thing she wants this and you're going to enjoy your space. If you have the fortitude help her with her stuff...pack it up and let her know it's ready for her to take (in a nice, pleasant, respectful way...not out of anger/bitterness).
Your goal is to 1) detach from the R for your own sake, and 2) make her FEEL like she's losing you and question what she's doing. Notice I used the word feel. It's an EMOTION, not a logical argument...you can't "logic" her back into thinking she should stay, so don't try.
I hate to say this, but based on your description she's likely caught up in an EA and/or PA. What does your gut say there? Any "suspects"?
Regardless, you should take away all focus from W and potential OM and focus on yourself. Don't stay at home on the couch wallowing for her and your R. Go out on a walk every time you feel down. Go to the gym. Grab dinner and drinks with a friend. Stay busy...GAL! It's the best way to avoid being depress and not wasting your time being down on the situation instead of living your best life.
TellMeSo - I know it's extremely difficult right now and you're likely spinning but it WILL be OK. You're young and have a whole lot of wonderful life in front of you. Not sure you're ready to hear it, but this happens a few months after you get married? You might thank her for showing you who she is so soon instead of after 20 years and 3 kids.
Me:39 Ex-W:37 M:7 T: 9 S:6 D:3 BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20 OM1 affair ends: May '20 W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20 W files for D: Jul20 OM2 confirmed: 9/2020 Divorced: May '21
