Thanks for your input LH19. Yup, I have a number of considerations to weigh re: what I want from the divorce.
--
I have been GALing like crazy. It's been fun. Also every time I give my (brief) explanation of my return, I think about the gory details I'm leaving out, and it reminds me anew of just what a POS my H is right now. I've been really busy but I still think about H in between activities.
Things are a little weird between me and a mutual friend of H's in Country B. This friend has been supportive of me and has been consistently hopeful for a reconciliation. He said that his sister went through something similar with her husband. In light of my IC's recommendation, I asked him if he had any information about H's affair with OW2. He says he knows as much as I do—just that there is someone else. He doesn't know who she is. He hasn't responded to my question on how he knows what he knows. My guess is that he saw them together. They all work in the same area. Maybe it's not a good idea to ask this friend for information, but I don't see what other options I have. Not sure asking H directly is a good idea. I don't know how to snoop. And I certainly don't want to reach out to OW1.
I suspect that this OW2 is a new person at H's office. If so, he's playing a dangerous game. It could be ruinous professionally. And all his friends and colleagues know and like me; we've all hung out a lot and they had all planned activities for my return. They also all knew about H and I getting the new apartment for my move. So I can only imagine how intensely H is raising eyebrows with his behavior right now. This is also somewhat professionally embarrassing for me because there is overlap in our career networks. God, it's going to be so, so painful for him if he ever wakes up from this fog. Much, much worse than he already feels now.
I recently visited a friend who just moved in with her partner. Their place is very nicely appointed. I felt such a mix of emotions. I was happy for them, but also a bit jealous and sad. Especially when they showed me stuff they bought for their entertainment system, which was very similar to what H and I had talked about just a week before BD.
My friends and I watched a movie that H and I had talked about, too. It made me think about that conversation. I missed him, the old H. And I thought about a line from The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. I wonder if the things that remind me of you, remind you of me?
