I wrote my coach’s opinion is to get out of the marriage, I should not have used the word opinion. He ask questions around the purpose of staying, etc.
I ask that question of newbies from time to time. Not to encourage them to walk away from their marriage, but because it’s an important question to ask. It sorts the wheat from the chaff. Are they: - people who haven’t been the best partners and need to DB, improve themselves and get their marriage back, or - people who are emotionally trapped and tied to a crap relationship and who can’t see any way forward other than saving their marriage.
Most of the time I ask that question on this forum ie “Why do you want to be with this person?” it gets ignored. For broken LBS who land here, it’s too hard for them to face the reality that their spouse is not really a great person, or because they just want to avoid hard questions. LBS who arrive here generally want the path of least resistance and for everything to quietly go back to how it was.
Fwdmvmnt, I really think you should listen to your coach and spend a significant amount of time thinking about that question. Why do you want to save this marriage, is this a person deserving of your love and life, and if you were outside looking in, would you tell your best friend to stay with this person?
