Stuck in limbo IV

[BL42]

For what it’s worth, W is going to appear like her life is going great. Happy with her new life and behaviours, new augmentations, new friends, etc. She will expend tremendous energies maintaining her fantasy/reality. She has to. Yet, in the still darkness of night, when she is still and at rest, her demons will come out, and she will struggle.

Happy people don't go around making huge changes, withdrawing from their families, trying to escape their lives. She might feel good in the moment when she's getting her fix, but I would be very surprised if she isn't actually struggling deep (or not-so-deep) down.

DnJ & marching make a great point here. One that often is hard for the the LBS to realize being bogged down in our struggles with the sitch...but it's not always rainbows and sunshine for the WAS/WS...even if they're projecting a happy exterior. Often times they're struggling just as much if not more, but hiding it.

I remember asking my then-W how she could blow up our family so easily (or at least it seemed to me) and she responded something to the effect of you don't know how much I cry in the car...etc. Also found a Pinterest board of motivational quotes and how people would judge her and she had to do this...etc.

So...not that this CHANGES the situation at all for the LBS, but perhaps it gives some reassurance or comfort in a way that it's not just us struggling. We still have to live with the results unfortunately, but don't assume it's all a fairytale on the other side....despite your perception of their newfound "happiness".