I also struggle with some of the wisdom of hard-liners on this site compared to what you espouse. For instance, it wouldn't be an alpha move to realize that W may be struggling with her MLC. I don't even know if she's "struggling" at the moment - she seems happy with the replay phase, new fake boobs, and going out like a college kid (last night at least).
Alpha males are intelligent, confident, and successful. They usually make great leaders, and prefer and seek positions of power. A sigma male has similar traits, with being more a loner and having a less dominating leadership style, they lead without exerting authority. And they stay outside the social hierarchy.
For me, someone successful usually has a good capacity for noticing others, and a high decree of emotional intelligence (compassion and empathy). And great leaders, lead from the back of the pack. They put their best fighters at the front, while they stay in the back to ensure the pace won’t lose anyone, and to help those who struggle. In my view, noticing and realizing W’s struggles would be a most sigma (alpha-ish) trait.
The other half of that mindset, is the confidence to let go and move forward. This action phase seems to get the most attention and encouragement, with the underlying compassion being overlooked or put aside. Yet, the underpinnings of why, need to be understood for one to find their way, and embrace it.
For what it’s worth, W is going to appear like her life is going great. Happy with her new life and behaviours, new augmentations, new friends, etc. She will expend tremendous energies maintaining her fantasy/reality. She has to. Yet, in the still darkness of night, when she is still and at rest, her demons will come out, and she will struggle.
Originally Posted by Doug54
…remaining under the same roof provided the best chance at working things out. However, this doesn't provide a chance for people to see whether or not they miss their partner.
“Missing their partner” is more an emotional thing than a physical thing. The idea is letting them feel what it is like to lose you. Not see what it is like.
Kind, cordial, being a roommate, and so on. All good ideas. However, no one strategy or method works in every situation or even within one situation. One of the great strengths of this board is the various viewpoints from all kinds of different situations. At times, most times, you will focus on you, detach, be more a roommate. At other times, you will offer or partake in family activities - like getting a Christmas tree for example. And other times it’s a hard line approach. In house separation can allow time and space, and yet still allow some connection. IHS is difficult, and if done well I believe will yield one’s best chance.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
